


i don't need what i left behind

by spirithouse



Category: f(x)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Established Relationship, Exes, F/F, Fluff, Post-Break Up, with other ppl not each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 15:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirithouse/pseuds/spirithouse
Summary: But Amber was caring, much too kind and observant, and she saw the tension Sunyoung tried to pretend wasn't spilling down her head like lava, burning everything.





	i don't need what i left behind

 

 

 

“A-and I told myself he wouldn't ruin tonight for me, but it was nagging at me the entire time! And all I-I wanted to do was hit him, I . . . don’t tell me, I know I shouldn't be hostile, but I want to hurt him.”

 

Sunyoung wasn't sure how much of her sobfest Amber was able to decipher, with how much snot and tears covered her words, and her hitting her hands together every second. Sunyoung hadn’t had a breakdown over her ex in a few months. She almost tricked herself into thinking he was insignificant now.

 

She was over him. She swore to herself and Amber that she was.

 

So there shouldn't have been any reason for her to cry in Amber's bed, when just a moment ago Sunyoung was three seconds away from having Amber's hand in her shorts. But Amber was caring, much too kind and observant, and she saw the tension Sunyoung tried to pretend wasn't spilling down her head like lava, burning everything. 

 

They were supposed to have a good night at a friend’s gathering. Even though Sunyoung knew he’d be at the party, it didn’t matter. It’d be okay. Except he was everywhere, even sitting at the same table as her, always in Sunyoung’s peripheral view. She forgot to be herself, to keep her focus on Amber’s hand holding hers, and not think about bitter breakups and nonexistent apologies. Sunyoung lost her appetite. All night, Amber attempted to be goofy to make her laugh. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she rubbed her face on the hem of her shirt, staining it with makeup and tears. “I ruined tonight.”

 

Amber reached over to her nightstand and grabbed the box of tissues. She patted Sunyoung’s cheeks and lips before handing her another tissue. “Blow your nose.” It took three more tissues before Sunyoung’s head felt a little more normal and a little less like a water balloon. 

 

As Amber guided them both back onto her pillows, exhaustion came and sunk on Sunyoung. Putting up a front all day, only to have it backfire on her, left her mind in a frazzled state. 

 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Amber said, kissing her forehead, and Sunyoung felt loved and awful at the same time. 

 

“‘M sorry you got stuck with someone still hung up on their ex,” Sunyoung sniffled, almost wanting to cry when Amber pulled the blankets over them, but her eyes were dried up. “If you don’t w-wanna stay with me, I understand.” The thought of Amber leaving was enough to make Sunyoung’s heart drop significantly, ready to sob again. 

 

“I’m non-refundable so you’re stuck with me.” Somewhere inside, Sunyoung was laughing, and she would’ve flicked Amber’s nose, too, if her hand wasn’t a rock. She settled for sending Amber a faint smile, and Amber nuzzled her cheeks in return. “I thought tonight might be tough, but I guess it was a bigger deal than I thought.”

 

Sunyoung rushed to apologize, but Amber shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Really. I just wish you’d be upfront and tell me what you’re feeling, so it doesn’t end up overwhelming you. I don’t want you getting sick like this.” 

 

Sunyoung knew it wasn’t good for her, but it was hard, an old habit. She always took things in and let it build up until it was too much to hold. “I know. I’m sorry.”

 

Amber’s arms slid around her waist, and Sunyoung shifted until she could comfortably rest her head on Amber’s chest. 

 

“How do you feel?” Amber asked. 

 

“Tired . . .Not as bad, I guess. I don’t know. I can’t think anymore.” She couldn’t think pass Amber’s warmth and the need to visit her dreams.

 

“We’ll talk more in the morning. Let’s just sleep.” Sunyoung managed to catch a light  _ I love you  _ from Amber, and had just enough energy to say it back before she fully fell asleep. 

 

They’d deal with everything in the morning. 

  
  


 

 

 


End file.
